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dp

Same As It Ever Was

Posted on 2016.07.22 at 15:59
I remember when I was younger it was the right wing moral crusaders telling you, "No, don't ready Heavy Metal! It's IMMORAL!"

Now it's the left wing social justice crowd telling you, "No, don't read Heavy Metal! It's SEXIST!"


I don't even like Heavy Metal, but if I did what the hell makes any of these fuckers think they get a say in it?

dp

Not A Cat Person

Posted on 2016.06.12 at 23:34
Current events warrant an entry more, but I'm not up to addressing that now, so instead....

There are people on my street who feed the stray cats. Obvious side effect, we're now infested with em.

Admittedly, I like dogs. The aid of canines was a major advantage which lead to the rise of mankind's civilization (not even hyperbole, domesticating dogs is what gave us the leg over all those other cave homids we fucking buried in prehistory) so I'm always going to pick "man's best friend" over every other furry fuck. No question. But even for people who are Team Cat I seriously have to question their sanity for encouraging this shit.

You can't pet or play with feral cats, they don't improve the ecosystem unless you absolutely hate birds & lizards, and it's not like their presence brings you anything other than shit in the yard or being waken up in the middle of the night by sounds of their fighting/fucking.

As much as I'm resigned to the fact that we are horriblly irrational beings that hate, HATE!, critical thinking, it still boggles my fucking mind that anyone would look at this clusterfuck and have the reaction "Yaaay! Kitties!"

Not that this is a #firstworldproblems thing for me, mind you. For the most part I won't even acknowledge them, apart from infrequent uses of a garden hose when I'm in absolutely no mood for their shit (rape the girl cat on someone else's lawn, you fucks, I'm trying to sleep here). But still, it gnaws at you when there's at least 5 of these things running around at any given time and you know that someone, somewhere, has given them all names and would probably get overly defensive if the truth was ever revealed to them that it's a public fucking nuisance.

Again, I'm enough of an asshole that I don't like them, but I'm not calling animal control. Or setting out tasty saucers of antifreeze.

One in particular has taken behind my garbage can as being its nappy spot. This wouldn't be an issue except that everytime I see cat paws from behind there my initial reaction is to assume the little fuck picked that area as its stray cat graveyard and now I have to get a shovel to deposit the corpse somewhere else. And then it gets up and runs off when I stop to verify it's not dead.

I'm sure whoever the hell has been feeding it has some cutesy name they use. "That's Snarfield! He/She loves trash cans!" To me its Garbage Cat. It'll always be Garbage Cat. They are ALL garbage cats, but this one is Garbagest.

Seriously, this is a step down from people who keep rats and other vermin as pets. At least intentionally having it in your house implies ownership.

objection!

Ficitional Gut Punches

Posted on 2016.06.06 at 23:09
Sometimes I feel retarded because the things other people freak out about don't affect me in the slightest, and what does shouldn't.

For example, a few weeks ago all the Game of Thrones fans are OMG HOLD THE DOOR!, and I get why they're like that, but it doesn't elicit the same reaction from me. The twist is explaining something you already knew happened, and characters in that show get fucked over all the time. I'm not going to arrogantly claim I saw it coming from a mile away, but considering the show I can't say it was surprising.

What did get to me is what else I've been watching, the 3rd season of The World God Only Knows. God, I'm going to hate explaining this...

It's an anime about how lost souls from Hell are inhabiting girls with empty hearts, so the grim reapers (I guess that's what they are, I forget what the show calls them) have to recruit people to help them make the girls fall in love, so the souls will leave and can be brought back to Hell.

The ditzy grim reaper recruits the main character, who is an anti-social high school bastard who's the best person ever at dating sims. In fact, his only motivation in anything is to play dating sims. Hijinks ensue as he tries to apply dating sim cliches to dating real girls.

I honestly have no valid explanation as to why I've watched all of this. I'm stupid.

So anyway, season 3 mixes the formula up, lost goddesses have gone into girls who've previously had lost souls, so now the main character has to seduce them ALL OVER AGAIN! AND THERE'S A TIME LIMIT!

Again, after typing that I'm confused why I watched this.

Now, some things I need to specify:

1. One of the girls from the earlier episodes is the "normal girl who would never be a character in a dating sim", and it's revealed she's always liked the main protagonist, waay before he became Hell's escort service.

2. She calls him out super hard and accurate about what a shit he is. Not the usual anime stuff where it's "Protag~chan is such a bad person for things that look bad but are misunderstandings/not actually their fault!" No, she is spot on with calling him a sneaky, selfish, arrogant liar who treats women like shit. For the whole pretext of the show having this supernatural macguffin to excuse going through love interests like kleenex to get all the jokes about dating sims in there, it is astonishingly self aware. I was not expecting that from an anime.

3. Because she doesn't have a goddess in her, he shoots her down mercilessly, so as to get back to seducing goddess girls, because time limit. It is pretty damn brutal.

So after all the goddess's have their love awakened, and fight off all the evil whatevers, cue the epilogue where main protagonist goes back to playing dating sims, but he doesn't enjoy them as much, because he's hung up on the normal girl who liked him, who he's completely fucked up his chances with. The whole thing ends with both of them crying by themselves over it. That's the actual ending. No last minute romantic gestures, explanations, or forgiveness. Shit is fucked, it's not happening.

The one person I mentioned this to IRL said "It's like real life," which I think is spot on for why the ending gets to me. Yeah, this is surprisingly real.

And upon reflection, you know, it's fitting. Main protagonist isn't a good guy. Karmically, he doesn't deserve to get the cliched happy ending.


So yeah, I can be "meh" about normal shows where everyone else cries it got me right in the feels! but get wrecked over a goofy anime.

dp

Don't Call It A Comeback...

Posted on 2016.06.01 at 14:53
I stumbled across an old bookmark I had set on an old internet browser, and jumped back on here for a bit to re-read all my amazing (emphasis is for sarcasm) previous insights into old cartoons, video games, and other garbage.

It's somewhat of a mixed bag, emotionally, to be honest. On one hand as I've gotten older I've become more and more oblivious to the passage of time, to where I'll see entertainment packaged as special 10th anniversary editions and be stopped dead in my tracks by it.

That movie isn't that old! It's what I think of as a recent movie! It only came out in (Google search) 200X. Shit, it is that old.

By my normal chronometer, 3 years is nothing. Playing Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag is still on my 'to do' list. No appreciable amount of time has passed since I stopped updating this.

And on the other hand, it feels like ancient history. A personal blog? One not dedicated solely to explaining a particular niche of technical issues? In CURRENT YEAR? How quaint. Perhaps you'd like to socialize on myspace and download some songs from Napster while you're at it.


Right now I don't even know if I'd categorize this as nostalgia. Obviously that's exactly what it is by any analytical standard, and there's a high probability more years will pass before I ever touch it again, but when all you ever do is think about the past it seems like nostalgia is more of the default state rather than something dipped into on wistful occassion. I know I'd rather be sitting on a couch watching Conan the Barbarian with old friends than go and see whatever's in theaters.

Looking over this livejournal I can say I wish I had worded some posts better. Not that I'm about to go all George Lucas and re-write everything (but, I mean, I could, who would even know?) just that in hindsight it's kind of a mess. And I sound indignant sometimes which strangely enough bothers more than when I'm being a complete asshole.

Other than that, the ol' LJ really hasn't suffered from being neglected. I can easily see the posts I would've made if I had stuck with it, and none of it is consequential. I got a PS4. The Deadpool movie, I liked it. Quit smoking to start vaping. Uber is strange and weird and I won't use it, even though it's far superior to taxis.

Also, in every way that genuinely matters, I haven't changed at all. Personal growth is for losers and born again hippies.

dp

AR-15, The Death Machine

Posted on 2013.04.16 at 22:36
I usually try to look at anything I'm about to say and decide Is this worth the argument that'll result if I say that? and usually the answer is "no" and I don't even bother.

But sometimes I gotta say it anyway.

Your gun control bullshit is getting old. I get it. Really. You have kids and the idea that a psychopath could just randomly go after them is horrifying. BUT YOUR ACTIVISM IS SO AMAZINGLY RETARDED IT HURTS MY BRAIN.

There's alot of this I won't even bother getting into, because I'm too tired and lazy to argue over certain points. Here's what pisses me off.

Assault rifles are already illegal. Everything you want banned, short of all guns everywhere, is already banned.

No, you see, Obama is going to ban the assault weapons! It's in that bill!

"Assault Weapons" doesn't mean a fucking thing. It's a bullshit term referring to features such as pistol grips and military style stocks and stuff like that.

How does all of that change the functionality of a rifle? Not fucking very. You can take almost any hunting rifle and it is just as lethal as an "assault weapon". The things that categorize these rifles as assault weapons are purely cosmetic.

But everyone LOVES posting pictures of the AR-15. "Look at the horrible death machine! It looks just like a military rifle!"

That's pretty much the point of the AR-15 though. To look like a military rifle. I know, I know, hunting! and competitive sports shooting! but, no, the real reason why anyone wants a AR-15 is because they look like M16s, and you can't actually own a fucking M16, so you get an AR-15. It's still only a 5.56mm semi-automatic rifle, not Rambo's gun.

They are crafting the legislature to get rid of guns that look scary. That's all this is. In a few months when this passes everyone will pat themselves on the back for fucking nothing, and you will not be even marginally safer.


dp

Holiday For 1

Posted on 2013.03.27 at 11:56
So today is my birfday and I... really just don't care. I've probably said that numerous times before, but it never becomes less true.

I know, I know, I get it. Some people really like going out and getting put upon wait staff to sing a few non-copyrighted verses at them over a shitty cupcake, and other are the opposite, dreading the yearly reminder that they're getting older and less fuckable.

It's just another day now though. When you're a kid it's awesome because it's the only time outside of Christmas you get stuff (unless you're a spoiled bastard) and you have all the benchmarks yet to hit. When I'm 15 I can get my learner's permit, when I'm 16, driver's license. Buy smokes at 18, booze at 21, and then that's basically it. Car insurance drops a little at 25, if that's something you can get excited about.

Senior citizen discounts at... 55? Early retirement at 65! Real retirement at waaay past you being fucking dead, because Social Security is fucked!

I'm not eagerly anticipating any of that. I can buy my own stuff I want, and eat cake any time I want to! Sugar-free cake, granted, fucking dietary concerns, but still, I can do it!

That's honestly something I'd like to do sometime. Just have a cake for no reason at a social gathering. So when someone asks, "What is the cake for? Are we celebrating something?" I can shout back "NO, BECAUSE WE FUCKING CAN! ABANDON YOUR LEARNED CAKE TABOOS! THEY DO NOTHING FOR YOU!!!"

Well, other than keeping you from getting fat I guess. But your metabolism gets fucked when you're older, so everything makes you fat anyway.


One thing I did this year was take my birthday off of Facebook, which it really hates. "Hey don't you want to put your birthday on Facebook? Your friends are requesting your birthday for the calendar! Come on, GIVE IT TO USSSSS!!!!"

I'll be honest, half the fuckers on there are people who never talk to me and only know about it if it's in the corner of Facebook. They can keep on not talking to me. I don't mind.

So months ago my all-in-one printer decided it wasn't going to talk to my PC anymore, and after a few days of half heartedly trying to make them kiss and make up and one full afternoon of deleting, reinstalling drivers, and fuck all else I could think of, I gave up on it.

My basic work around was to connect the fucker to my netbook and print off of that, but even now I've reached a point where that was significantly shitty, and so I just broke down and bought a new one.

The old one was a Lexmark and we use Lexmarks at work, where they're usually fucked up, so naturally that is the last fucking brand I wanted this go around. Alot of Cnet and Amazon user review praise was going for Epson, in a "pretty good for regular people use" sorta way, so that's what I got. Yay, 2 sided printing! Now I don't have to flip the paper over to print RPG character sheets!

Sadly, that's really about the only reason for me personally to own a printer...

The thing worth mentioning though, in that as far as researching this, I can't see how anyone could narrow down what kind of printer actually meets their printing needs. "Best" categorizing seems almost meaningless to me. I mean, if you're using it for business, the requirements for you are vastly different from someone wanting to print out high quality pictures on photo paper. And I'm really unsure who the hell is just browsing for the industrial size office type copier/printer/fax machines. Like I would assume the ones the size of washing machines would warrant their own category. They could be referred to as "big printers" or something.

dp

GAME OF THRONES, YEEEEAH

Posted on 2013.03.04 at 18:34
So a few weeks ago there was a sale at Target, and I picked up the first two seasons of Game of Thrones for around $50. Good deal, but I am so not sticking to whatever New Year's bullshit I was saying before about not indulging hobby purchases I really should just give up the fucking pretense of that.

Season 2 included a WIN A 42 INCH PLASMA TV AND A BLU-RAY PLAYER survey, which I broke down and did, because those are things I would like to own without spending my own money to own them.

I'm sure I've said this before, but I'll say it again, I hate surveys. They're dumb and pointless and... fuck,yeah, I actually said that 2 posts ago. So, yeah, amazingly, I still don't like them.

But I'm glad I did this one because alot of the questions were so ridiculous they have amusement value. Like where with every other one you're kinda "I bought something, pretty 'meh' about it because buying shit doesn't give me THE FEELS", no, this one was entertaining.

First off, there is nothing that asks you which type of DVD you bought. I went through this twice and verified it, because this is important. After going through a BUNCH of questions where I'm "No, won't buy the Blu-Rays," (the one of these I love the most is "If there were NO OTHER OPTIONS, would you buy the super special collector's fuck-you-you-sheep special edition for an extra $15?") they then say "Your previous answers have indicated that you don't have a blu-ray player. Why then did you buy the blu-ray DVDs?"

MOTHERFUCKERS, I DIDN'T!! AND WHO ENTERS A FUCKING SWEEPSTAKES TO WIN A BLU-RAY PLAYER IF THEY ALREADY OWN ONE!?!?

They then go on to test your Game of Thrones fanboy cred, ("Did you know Game of Thrones was based on BOOKS? Have you read those BOOKS?") and next provide a checklist for all the reasons you might buy a DVD set, click all that apply.

My favorite: "I liked the idea of being able to display the set in my home."

I'll be honest, this wins you cool guy points with no one. It's like seeing someone owns Monty Python & The Quest for the Holy Grail on DVD or their bookshelf includes The Hobbit. Sure, maybe not every single nerd owns those, but they're enough of a staple that nobody's going to be squealing with glee over finding a kindred soul such as you.

"OMG Game of Thrones DVDs! I thought I was the only one!"

Nooope. Not happening. Although I was seriously tempted to just click that one and leave it at that. Only reason, man! I want people to think I like Game of Thrones!

Everything on Facebook pisses me off now. No, I don't mean where people post stupid pictures of their lunch, or the Starbuck's cup with their name on it. I've come to miss those now. I fucking pine for the days when I'd look at my news feed and think man, these are the worst!

Every motherfucker is posting inspirational stories now. I literally, 100% being honest here, cannot make it to the end of any of that shit to see what the moral of the stupid fucking story is supposed to be. They are all exaggerated and heavy handed as shit and have fucking nothing to do with reality.


"Oh, how'd you get through college?" the boss asks, because large companies don't have HR doing their fucking hiring.

"Mom and Dad, herp derp," says the job applicant.

"Well, go home and look at their hands," says the boss.

So the ENTITLED SHIT job applicant goes home and looks at his parents' hands, and realizes they don't have hands anymore because they worked them down to stumps paying for his college. And he cries and cries and does their work for them.

Then when he returns to the boss and cries some more and tells him what he did the boss is all, "That's good, because someone who can appreciate that is exactly who we want to hire and-


NO. FUCK YOU INSPIRATIONAL STORY. Companies aren't looking to hire an asshole who appreciates shit. It's Glengarry Glen Ross. Earners get coffee, the rest of you get fucked. It's a stupid fucking story written by someone because their spoiled shit kid threw a fit that they bought them a Nintendo 3DS instead of the Nintendo 3DS XL, and they can go fuck themselves for thinking this was something that applies to the rest of us.

And fuck my Facebook friends for exposing me to this pile of shit.

dp

I'm Not Your Friend, Video Games

Posted on 2013.02.06 at 16:02
Penny Arcade makes mention of an interview with a EA producer who's basically, "Yeah, there's microtransactions in the new Dead Space game, but that's because all the kids today are used to those with their phone games. It's the new generation."

In this particular instance I'm not indignant about it or anything, because you can aquire the in-game resources normally, although I do suspect it's probably more of a grind than it would of been without the microtransaction option.

Also because I still haven't gotten through the 1st Dead Space game yet, so it'll be somewhere between FOREVER and NEVER before I get to this one.


This is part of the thing though that is killing video games for me though, in that they're becoming that dealer who wants you to hang out with him after you've already bought some drugs.

Most of the games I've gotten recently have made me sign up for some bullshit account with the games' website or include a laundry list of DLC that you know you wanna get!!! or both.

Shit, video games, I'm not your friend. I just wanna get my shit, go home, and enjoy it by myself. I don't wanna be a part of your social club or deal with an in-game store or have to come back over and over again to pick up all the DLC that probably should've been part of the game in the first place. Why are you always crowding me? Just fuck off already.

Really, this isn't just video games though. It's indicative of pretty much everything lately. Nothing kills my good moods worse now than the fact that there is literally nothing, not a single, goddamn thing anymore, I can purchase without someone trying to hard sell me on a membership or filling out the fucking survey on the receipt.

I went through the fucking drive thru at Taco Bell. The absolutely BEST CASE SCENARIO for that is it's quick and uneventful. I dunno what the hell kind of results they're expecting from these things.

I pulled up to the first window. The high school girl who's probably going to quit this shit job in 2 months smiles at me, and it's sublime bliss. I pay for my food and then afterwards she leans slightly forward, asking in a coying tone "Would you like any sauces?" I reply, "No, just some napkins, please." She goes to that rat's nest of supplies you have back there and comes back with my napkins, our hands touching briefly as she hands them to me. "I love you," I mouth to her. "I know," she says. "Your order will be at the next window." I pull forward, and at this window the strung out, middle-aged crackhead who works here hands me my plastic bag full of food, and I don't feel the least bit apprehensive at all that they've touched things I'm about to put in my mouth. Then... I drive away. 10/10


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