Zogar (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} zogar) wrote,@ 2009-06-30 22:21:00 |
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Bayformers 2: Revenge of Explosions and Testicles
Just got back from Transformers 2. Man, when I said all they'd have to do is just have more robots over humans to make me happy, I take that back. God, do I take that back.
vulpes posted a link to a review that kind of mockingly billed this flick as Michael Bay's first art house movie, and it's strangely fitting. More than anything else, this film reminds me of the Spirit. Not to the degree of The Spirit, oh noooo, less than that by far, but it is pretty much something you can't help but wonder while watching what the fuck is going on?
It is 2 and a half hours of fucking nonsense. I'll give it a couple of points for actually giving us a couple of scenes of Megatron and Starscream talking to each other, and Ravage was cool, but then I'm immediately taking those away for Seductricon, The fucking ebonics Autobots, the Stargate villian Decepticon who's supposed to be The Emperor to Megatron's Darth Vader, every failed attempt at humor, the constant mentioning of balls, indistinguishable fight scenes, and a dozen other things I'd rather just forget about.
This leads me to 2 final points on this:
1. I'm opting out right the fuck now on Bayformers 3. I don't give a fuck what the trailers look like, what promises are made, I am not going to that movie. I'm fucking done.
2. I used to voice annoyance with how years ago my friends let me buy Transformers: The Movie when I was drunk. I no longer regret that purchase. Hell, I wish I had it on DVD. After this one, I'm actually nostalgic now for the animated movie.
And none of this is from Transformers fanboyhood. The source material is 20 minute long toy commercials from the 80s. I can appreciate that. Soundwave doesn't turn into a tape deck, fine, whatever. But when I'm thinking back to that 20 year old toy commercial and realizing that it had better dialogue with deeper characterization... yeah.
Just got back from Transformers 2. Man, when I said all they'd have to do is just have more robots over humans to make me happy, I take that back. God, do I take that back.
vulpes posted a link to a review that kind of mockingly billed this flick as Michael Bay's first art house movie, and it's strangely fitting. More than anything else, this film reminds me of the Spirit. Not to the degree of The Spirit, oh noooo, less than that by far, but it is pretty much something you can't help but wonder while watching what the fuck is going on?It is 2 and a half hours of fucking nonsense. I'll give it a couple of points for actually giving us a couple of scenes of Megatron and Starscream talking to each other, and Ravage was cool, but then I'm immediately taking those away for Seductricon, The fucking ebonics Autobots, the Stargate villian Decepticon who's supposed to be The Emperor to Megatron's Darth Vader, every failed attempt at humor, the constant mentioning of balls, indistinguishable fight scenes, and a dozen other things I'd rather just forget about.
This leads me to 2 final points on this:
1. I'm opting out right the fuck now on Bayformers 3. I don't give a fuck what the trailers look like, what promises are made, I am not going to that movie. I'm fucking done.
2. I used to voice annoyance with how years ago my friends let me buy Transformers: The Movie when I was drunk. I no longer regret that purchase. Hell, I wish I had it on DVD. After this one, I'm actually nostalgic now for the animated movie.
And none of this is from Transformers fanboyhood. The source material is 20 minute long toy commercials from the 80s. I can appreciate that. Soundwave doesn't turn into a tape deck, fine, whatever. But when I'm thinking back to that 20 year old toy commercial and realizing that it had better dialogue with deeper characterization... yeah.
